I have never liked the word hate at all, and try not to use it conversation or to describe my feelings towards something or someone. The word itself is just awful. It is so strong, and when used it implies force. It has the most impact when used to describe your feelings towards someone, because people have feelings. There are people in life that feel that using the word hate when it is necessary is okay, but my question is when is it ever necessary? And why? My thoughts are that this word is never needed, despite how angry you might be at someone. I remember back to when I was a teenager and fought with my parents, and there were times I yelled at them and told them I hate them. In the moment I thought it was the most appropriate thing to do. I was infuriated with them and I wanted them to know. I felt that using the word hate, which I had been told was not okay to use regarding people, was going to make them understand what they were doing and how they were making me feel. But looking back, I realize that it didn't do that. In fact it made things worse. My parents just got more angry with me, especially my mom and she took it personally. What I had said to her broke her heart and I didn't realize it until much later.
After watching the talk show and hearing Trisha talk about the people who were on her hate list, I began thinking about if there was anyone in my life that I hate, that could go on my hate list. At first a couple people came to mind, but as I got thinking I realized that didn't hate them as people, I hated things they had done in the past that had hurt me. And that is a difference. As much as I dislike what they did to me, I don't hate them as people. That is something that I have come to terms with over my lifetime.
In 8th grade I had a close friend of mine hurt me in many ways, and for a few years I hated her. I was constantly mad at her and I wanted to her to be hurt to. It wasn't until 10th grade, when I finally told her what she had done to me (because before that she had seemed clueless) that I began to let go of the hate and turn towards forgiveness. It was not an easy thing to do, but I realized that being angry at her and hating her was not going to change anything. She had hurt me and that couldn't be undone. We were no longer friends anymore, and I needed to let go of what she had done to me. Now when I decided to forgive her, I didn't condone what she had done to me and say that it was okay. But I let go of my grudge against her, and it felt like a ton of bricks was lifted off my shoulders. And then last year a few people hurt me, and I am currently going through the forgiveness process to let go of what they did to me.
I love this quote by Martin Luther King Jr "Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." And it's so true. If we hold hate in our hearts, it is never going to go away. And we can't keep holding grudges against people and expect to be happy and live a meaningful life. Because all of that builds up and keeps us from moving forward.